Thursday, August 28, 2014
Family of 5 Update!
Just wanted to give you all an update on where we are at with the adoption process. As you know, our home-study was completed in May. We ran into a few hiccups getting our home-study report written with needing some additional documents.
You see, each country has their own specific requirements when you are adopting internationally. One of China's biggest requirements is to ensure that each parent is mentally healthy. To be honest with you all, which I am because if you have met me I am sure I have shared some parts of my life with you and they are always funny even if they are supposed to be sad.....and what I am about to share with you may not be shocking news to some but still sensitive to write.in.a.blog.
(whoa run-on nervous writing there that I won't delete)
I divert again!
Ok, to be honest with you, I have depression in my history. (phew! There, I said it) It brings me to tears to think of the sad girl/woman that I used to be and what low value I had placed on myself. I was diagnosed with depression in 1998 yet I have been depression free & medication fee since 2004. Because of my past diagnosis and since I have had what they are calling traumatic/tragic experiences happen in the past few years, I had to get a psychological clearance on my mental health.
Oh you think easy, just call a doctor and get it cleared.....not so much.
When I first starting researching, I could not find a doctor to do this for me b/c I was not an existing patient. Then when I did find one, they would want to see me for a minimum of 5-10 visits to "get to know me.".......uhhhh, can we see the money falling out of my wallet as we speak!!!! So one night, I was truly frustrated and just got on Google and then wrote out a mass email to about 20 doctors and prayed about the situation as I went to bed that night. The next morning I check my email.....one doc replied back. He said that he is an adoptive parent and would love to help me! Ahhhhh, can we say God send!!! So he was able to get me in the next day and turned around my report in about 24 hours. He was awesome!
One question that he did ask me was that with all that I had been through what made me want to get out of my depression....what was it that worked for me?
That is a question I had never been asked before.
I simply told him, "I found the want and need for a relationship with Jesus Christ....."
It is that simple.
I have learned that it is ok to be sad....that is a normal human emotion. I also learned that it is healthy to grieve and once you grieve you have a choice to be happy. It is your choice to move on and that timeframe may look differently on everyone. I remember after the twins died sitting in a therapist office, crying my eyes out and she suggesting that I go to my doctor to get put on medication. I was like, are YOU crazy??? What sane person would NOT be crying with the immense loss I had just experienced.
I took the time to grieve, prayed my little heart out, then stepped out of my darkness and trusted Him with my story. His perfect story for me....
Again, diverting....I could talk about my experiences forever and the clarity that I now have.......
SO, now that my head was cleared we could move on to our I800A application which is our application to US Immigration to adopt internationally. That application was pretty easy to fill out until it came to the "Have you ever been sited with a violation, other than traffic" question......yikes!
Let me just start off by saying this is a great lesson to be learned for all your kids out there that EVERYTHING comes back to haunt you! So please share this story with your youngins....
You see, in 1998, I was tailgating at a UL football game with friends and received a ticket, I repeat TICKET.....not arrested......a ticket for drinking under age. My choices at the time were to either pay the fine or I could complete a program offered that would then have the ticket expunged off my record. This program involved community service, riding in an ambulance for a night, attending an alcohol awareness class and then writing a report on what I learned. I, of course, chose the program that would have this removed from my record. Fast forward 16 years where I am in my first interview with our Social Worker and she asked me if I have ever received a citation, other than a traffic violation. We knew that this would probably come up again. I needed to write a statement and sign "under penalty of perjury" giving a detailed explanation of what happened, what I did to resolve it and what lessons I learned. But once I started to fill out my I800A, I knew there was going to be more detail to this. So one day I started the phone calls on how to get documentation proving that this was no longer on my record. I was bounced around from department to department and person to person trying to find someone to help me. They either couldn't find it on my record (because it had been expunged) or wouldn't give me information over the phone and wanted to see me in person....uhhhh, no....I live in Georgia!
i finally got in touch with a sweet soul filled with all sorts of patience who let me ramble on about my story and need for this document. In her sweet lil cajun voice (my fav) she said, "Aww cher, I'll help you sweetheart!" She put me in touch with the department that I completed the program with and they were able to find my records. They were so sweet to write a letter stating that I had completed the program in 1998 and that the the charge, in fact, was expunged from my record. Can I get an AMEN!
So see.....it all comes back to haunt you!
All documents were collected and signed and our I800A was sent to our social worker this week....woot woot:)
So now our next step it to get our Dossier (fancy word for paper packet) ready to send to China. Once the immigration approval is back we will insert that document and all of our "hard work paper work" will be sent off.....and then the real clock starts ticking!
You will start to see a ton of acronyms that will dictate where we are in the process as I have learned there is a whole other "adoption language." I will be sure to explain as they arise!