I have to admit, I was SUPER anxious about this trip. For one, I had never been to a foreign country besides Mexico. For two, this wasn't going to be a luxury vacation. We were going for purpose...for God's purpose.....we we going on a mission trip. I had heard about these so called "trips" and I have heard that they change you forever, which is probably where most of my anxiety was coming from. It called me to really take into account who I was as a person and challenge me to pull out these inner thoughts and feelings and make them raw.....make them real.
One of our first days there we traveled to an orphanage called Merciful Redeemer. I will never forget what I saw there......let me repeat, never forget.
Images instilled on my heart forever and there was a reason. A reason I wasn't yet able to understand......
So here we are years later.
Last summer Brett and I started the discussion on if we wanted to expand our family. I couldn't help this fear I had of being pregnant again. (for those of you who are new to this blog can read about our journey here.) Having children was not an easy thing for me and being pregnant again brings major anxiety to me with all that is unexpected. I prayed and prayed about it and could not shake this feeling that being pregnant again was not the plan for me. It was at this moment that I realized that adoption was the answer. It wasn't that I didn't trust God to get me through another pregnancy. It was that God was keeping this fear in my heart for another reason......that maybe my child was already born.....that maybe I needed to turn my trust in God in another direction.
So, again, here we are years later and happy to announce that we are expanding our family by international adoption. Much research has been had over the past months over international vs. domestic. We have had the privilege to speak to many people who have done both in addition to speaking with an adoption lawyer. I have attended meetings, gone through and read a ton of blogs and have even watched a few documentaries on adoption. We submitted our preliminary application yesterday and should know what countries we are approved for in the next few days.
We are excited to be on this journey and can't help to think about our future child....if they are already born and just waiting for us! We are a bit nervous too as there is much involved and the keyword over the next few years will be PATIENCE......I have heard this waiting game can push you over the edge sometimes. So we are asking you to pray....pray for patience, pray for our future child, pray for Braxton & Wyatt that this is a smooth transition for them and pray for us as we go on this journey.